Lebengenießen ~ enjoying life ~

Second Drawing Class

2012-01-15T23:23:00.001+08:00

Boy, instructor sure talks alot. But today I learnt construction, something I have avoided all my life because I never saw drawing as precise calculations. But it's indeed useful. With practice, I could draw from extrapolation :) No need for the object to be physically before me...

Started off with contour drawing via plain observation.

Then we practiced drawing ellipses with varying distances from the eye level.

So I did my first simple construction. Wow, it really improves my accuracy by leaps and bounds!

Of course I still have the lopsided issue, but not a bad try at all!

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Location:NAFA

Another day of mindless painting!

2011-12-10T21:28:00.001+08:00

It's almost half done!!

This is the cross-stitch of acrylic painting. Every brushstroke is just negotiating the curves of a predefined patch, but together, they form an amazing impression of beauty in nature.

Will I be able to finish this before new year? I'll try. It'll be a present for myself, to encourage myself for the tough year behind, the emotional turmoil, the setbacks, the poor mental and physical health, and the fights I've put up to get back to the right path.

I'm still searching for myself, and will find me one day.

Bicycle Purchase

2011-12-04T17:22:00.001+08:00

Bought a bike for leisure cycling, but was greeted with a long lecture of how cycling in the park and the neighborhood is dangerous from my upright father.

I often feel that the things I buy are always the subject of disapproval, especially from my dad, who hates all kinds of changes. Ranging from my music lessons, my room revamp, my camera purchase, my travelling habits... He isn't unkind, as he is ever ready to help in any way he can, but the beliefs he conveys are always so discouraging, he makes me doubt myself.

I suspect the many limiting beliefs I have about myself, are extensions of my father's inferiority complex and pessimism. I'm now putting in a lot of work to undo all those innate beliefs. It is not easy.

To make things easier, perhaps I should keep my future decisions to myself. I am afterall responsible for my own life. My parents cannot insist on twisting my arm, even though I respect their opinions.

Gigi Squared

2011-11-26T23:26:00.001+08:00

Meow. Sizing is a problem still, and obviously not a very carefully constructed practice piece. But having Gigi placed beside its own sketch is quite amusing :) and telling of my drawing problems, of course.

PBN progress and Oil Painting Class #5

2011-11-26T17:50:00.001+08:00

I can really finish this by the end of this year!!!

And check out my makeshift studio. I worked to Malcolm Gladwell's "Outliers". And before that, I finished listening to a so-so audiobook "How to spot liar", which taught me that women lying look as if they are flirting, albeit the colour that runs from their cheeks and lips. Hoho...

In the background is my work from the fifth oil painting class:

Looks good on photo, but of course I have a great deal to learn. My brush strokes still suck, and my blending is at best accidental, but I managed to reduce the amount of turpentine in my brushes, and keep my hands cleaner, if not for the unintentional reach for the wrong palette knife - mixer instead of the desired scrapper.

Sleepless on a Friday Over a Practice Piece

2011-11-05T01:04:00.001+08:00

It's ridiculous, but after sitting face to face with the unfinished oil painting piece, I decided to complete it. It was late, but I couldn't take my mind off it. I had to finish it off tonight.

After about two plus hours, I am done painting the entire backdrop a dark tone. It really was not easy. The paint didn't move when thick and dark, but became too light when thin. I had to plaster multiple layers before a more or less even tone was achieved.

A mindless activity for my Friday night, but was surprisingly entertaining, as my iPad played a series of great TED talks about creativity to cheer me on.

The result: a mediocre piece. But at least I have completes it. Time to get another stretched canvas and more turpentine.

Lesson 2 of Oil Painting

2011-11-01T23:50:00.001+08:00

Did some shading tonight. Boy, this is really rubbish. But strangely I enjoyed my lesson.

The Drive to be Happy

2011-10-30T21:03:00.001+08:00

I wonder what drives modern couples to wake up at wee hours, just to go through the Chinese customary wedding. After being a "sister" at three weddings, I must say that I don't find the entire process worthwhile. Does anyone really enjoy the process? I really can't tell. I only know that the couple and their families are usually beat at the end of the day. Looks rather like a graduation ceremony, though the fresh grads are usually more hyper due to better mobility in lighter clothing. Couples usually look stuck stiff in all the layers they wear for their wedding day.

It must be the belief that all these ceremonies will bring happiness to the couple. Perhaps so, since there are no more regrets. No more of the "you didn't even give me a proper wedding" arguments. All family members, old and young alike, approve of the matrimony. It's done, official, precious, because everyone put in effort to make it come together.

Perhaps I'm just jaded by the many big meetings at work that are conducted with extreme care at all steps, which kind of resonates with what happens at a Chinese wedding. The solemnisation vows were, on the other hand, more meaningful. I am always touched by the verses spoken, because if taken seriously, they mean a lifetime of responsibilities and commitment. That is a scary thought, especially when having second thoughts. Must take a great deal of determination to say them.

When it's my turn, I should have to make it clear to my partner that any traditional ceremonies I go through are for his sake, not my own. I really don't care for all that. I'm just game to put on a nice gown and light makeup, and sit down for a good drink and lunch with close family and friends at a comfortable hangout.

Alright, easier said than done, on all counts. Much more convenient to follow the crowd and the usual practices, like a tour package. If you want it your way, you've got to sweat it.

Progress of PBN

2011-10-29T14:07:00.001+08:00

Ah, now the seagull is flying towards the tip of the island...

Interestingly, my water containers are a sweet combination of colours too.

Time to run for a session at the gym...

Working on PBN on Diwali

2011-10-26T23:18:00.001+08:00

It's Deepavali today, and after a great lunch out with my old buddies and a painful attempt to get new work shoes in a mall running out of sizes, I sat down to painting by numbers with episodes of Big Bang Theory and Outsourced running on TV. Look how much I have progressed!

Seems silly and unimpressive, but the quiet soul in me enjoyed my holiday. Painting just whiles time away and makes me satisfied with what I have achieved in a sitting.

Consolation piece

2011-10-26T00:45:00.001+08:00

Just to cheer (and redeem) myself up from the poor showing in oil painting class, here is a colour pencil piece I did last weekend.

This serves as a reminder that I am not all that lousy, though many aspects in sizing are lacking once again.

All the best, myself! I can do it! There is only room for improvement!

First Oil Painting Class

2011-10-26T00:42:00.001+08:00

I realized I have never been taught how to measure my subject and size them correctly! All these years I have been sketching without any understanding. Now it's so tough!

My first class ended in disaster.

Meddling with all the paint and brushes and knives and turpentine... Alamak, I'm all confused and slow. Indeed challenging. But I must say I have learnt something. That my so-called free spirit is not guarded by control and technique, and I still can't handle a brush well on a vertical canvas. Tough. This is a lousy start. I never expected that I could draw so badly. :)

Progressing Colours

2011-10-22T17:13:00.001+08:00

Yes, I have covered one edge of the canvas! Applause for my progress! Now I feel hungry, and my back aches a little. But it was worth the effort. It is more fun wasting time on painting than on socializing.

Wetting the Brushes Again

2011-10-15T20:39:00.001+08:00

After a hiatus of more than half a year, I finally resumed with my second PIY project. Not for anyone else, just for myself. A gift to me, at last. Feels great to be selfish.

Even this form of mindless painting is therapeutic. I have been jumping at the slightest ever little disagreememt with colleagues, family and friends. Painting keeps me focused and calm. Considering the effect it has on me, I should be painting all day, instead of working in an office.

Hope I can complete this soon. Man, it looks chicken-feet, but it is really hard work!

Baby Bonnet Completed!

2011-04-03T01:17:00.001+08:00

Set out to do this this evening after dinner, in front of the tv while watching Project Runway, and there was no stopping since then. A bonnet for the newborn girl of my colleague who is due for posting next month:

I wonder if I should have made it larger. The ribbon I bought is a tad too thick, and I had a hard time passing it through the little gaps. But it gave a very sweet touch of colour to the plain work.

A fun project done very quickly. But I must admit that it has taken me past my bedtime... Yawn...

Spray-On Mishap

2011-03-28T21:39:00.001+08:00

Alas, my first acrylic piece on paper fell prey to my poor sealer spraying skills. There were unfortunate white horizontal streaks across, as I held the nozzle too close for the first coat.

But it has served its purpose. I went on to spray the gift piece, and it turned out fine, though the coat was hardly visible.

Well it's after all a matte finish. The problem is, I forgot to dust the surface, so some dust particles have been sealed in along with the second coating.

Now that the gift is complete, time for me to try the next practice piece. Now what should I draw?

First trial acrylic piece on paper

2011-03-28T00:33:00.001+08:00

I couldn't take it anymore. I had to go get a varnish spray to seal the Paint-by-Numbers canvas for my colleague (see previous post). I decided that the spray will come in useful for future acrylic works too.

Ah, that means I am starting a new hobby, which isn't exactly very novel, as I used to work with pencil and watercolor. I've decided to try a new medium.

I have been meaning to frame a printed brochure of Coplu's work, which was colorful and heartwarming, perfect for the bedroom. But then I thought to myself, why not frame my own work?

But of course, I am no artist. Hence I can only copy and play around with the medium.

With all the above in mind, I drove down to ArtFriend, and got a suite of equipment for my acrylic mission:

1. Daler Rowney System 3 intro acrylic set

2. Set of 6 Daler Rowney Simply acrylic brushes

3. Brush washing water container ( have always dreamt of this 3-in-1 set since secondary school)

4. Palette with containers (for paint, i think)

So I started copying a small portion of Coplu's Precious State of Love on acrylic paper, as I wanted to leave the canvas I bought for future use.

Some observations:

1. The brushes were really... terrible. The bristles started to split after a couple of strokes. I am now stuck with spoilt brushes.

2. The paint seems to dry much slower than the ones used for Paint-in-Numbers. I was caught by surprise at how runny the paint was without mixing water. This makes textured strokes a little tough for a total beginner like me.

3. The palette had to be scrubbed very hard to remove the dried paint after the session. I wonder if there is a better alternative. How else should I paint? I need a palette to blend colours!

Nevertheless, I am quite satisfied with the end product. As the brushes were not fine enough, I cheated a little by using color pencils at the sharp edges. So here is it (please note that this is an imitation practice piece, and is not my original work. Refer to Coplu's original expert acrylic works. ):

I wonder how Coplu did the beautiful skies. I will have to err to find out.

Next step will be to seal the work with the spray-on varnish. Again, this first piece will serve as practice before I do it on my colleagues gift.

Another gift in the making

2011-03-26T20:33:00.001+08:00

After the personalized office garden I prepared for the first colleague leaving, I am under pressure to give a personal touch to the next colleague leaving after him.

I have passed by the Paint By Numbers stall a couple of times, and was always tempted to get a set to try out. After all, I used to be a young art student before graduating from secondary school. I worked with poster and watercolors before, so how challenging can this cross-stitch-like coloring exercise be?

And so I ordered a kit for a cool, brown picture of coffee cups. My colleague is a coffee addict.

Now, it wasn't so easy to work with acrylic paint. Firstly, I haven't painted for more than a decade, I can't handle a brush right. Acrylic paint isn't at all like watercolor either. The coverage is great and hence corrections are possible, but the colors don't seem to blend as easily. The numbers were rather faint, so I squinted my eyes trying to distinguish between fives, sixes and eights.

However, it was much fun painting again. I recalled my days as the only member of my school's art club, the poster pieces I painted for the school canteen, and my CC's art teacher's constant nagging for me to keep my brushes clean to prevent muddiness.

Here was the half-done picture:

As it was acrylic, very little water was required. I could use the poster palette on its own. A piece of kitchen paper towel was sufficient too.

And now with all the colours in and a feeble attempt to blend the strangely green spots with the surrounding brown:

Now to complete the look, I painted the edges black, a suggestion I read off the web:

Ah, all ready to dry off during the night. I spent the entire afternoon working on this. The result was fulfilling. Now I wonder why I didn't pursue my artistic inclinations when I was younger. Why was there such a push to study hard for exams by dropping everything else?

Perhaps this will be a start of my revival of an old hobby: drawing. I had sketched recently, to little satisfaction. Maybe I should work with colors instead.

Hope the recipient will appreciate it. And hope I won't be tempted by selfishness to keep the piece to myself. :)

And to wrap it all up, here is how the original work looks like:

Wonder if a layer of gloss would make mine look more like the above.

Newest and First Plant Assortment

2011-03-18T21:32:00.001+08:00

My first ever plant arrangement for a colleague who is about to leave the company. As I had no idea whether his office or home would be large enough to house an office garden, I decided not to buy a pre-arranged set from Far East Flora. Better to have some sort of flexibility, so that the plants can be separated/replaced when necessary.

Plants from left to right are:
Bird's Nest Fern;
Red Nerve Plant; and
White Creeping Fig.

Blue-dyed stones and crystals are used to decorate the white box and hold the pots in place.

I hope the recipient will like the gift, and that the plants will grow well and provide good fengshui to my colleague in his new job! Only the nerve plant is a little fragile, but its veins look like networks, which should be good for his 人脉. The other two are hardy and evergreens :) I would have given him the most hardy plant - money plant - but he wasn't so impressed by my creeping money plant at my cube.

I might be tempted to get a set for myself... Now this set will reside in my room till it's time to pass it on to the deserving recipient!

Falling Into My Own Trap

2011-03-17T23:21:00.001+08:00

Falling into traps is one thing I excel in
Of course, how could I miss?
I set them up myself

Trapping myself in similar situations
Over and over without fail
Thinking it was something promising
When it was nothing to begin with

Giving my heart to the unworthy?
Not their fault: they didnt ask
Spending my time thinking of the impossible?
Absolutely, what else is more intriguing?

Jumping into my own traps full of
Unfulfilled dreams that shatter my soul
Unrealistic expectations that shear off my confidence
Unhappy tears that consume my nights

Falling into my own traps
I must stop digging

Turning to Yoga

2011-02-28T23:08:00.001+08:00

I need to start yoga again. It is the only exercise that does not knock me out after a workout. And I have to admit that my fitness level has been falling since I stopped blading.

My pain points include the left lower back, courtesy of years of carrying heavy sling laptop- and handbags; neck and shoulders; right ankle since a series of terrible sprains that torn my ligament; and the left knee that seems to creak lately when descending the stairs.

During a Pulau Ubin retreat with my aunt the yoga instructor, I learnt that many elderly practitioners have persevered and found relief for aches in joints through regular yoga classes. Encouraged, I have signed up for a beginners' course again. Hope it's beneficial. I should have continued years ago after attending both yoga and pilates courses in order to progress to later stages. Well at least I started. Better late than never.

I have always had a DVD of gentle yoga, which I so very adored because it was mostly easy and rejuvenating. A morning's practice wakes me up, making me feel lighter and more energized. So good videos are actually good for you if you have done some basics under professional supervision before.

To supplement my yoga classes, I will be borrowing different DVDs from the library to jazz up the experience. Gaiam seems to be one of the companies releasing high quality home exercise videos.

With this whole lot of initiatives, I hope to get in shape, feel healthier, restore my natural clear skin, and exterminate the evil lethargy. Of course, this will take a great deal of work and time, but at least the protagonist-cum-beneficiary will be me alone.

I am finally doing something for me and me alone, not for the approval and admiration of others.

Something has to change

2010-12-08T00:04:00.001+08:00

But what? This is a tough question. The only sure thing is that I'm leading my life in the wrong way. That is why I have been ill and unhappy for the past few months.

What's wrong? Only a year ago I was in a state of peace and near bliss. Everything was fine. Nothing much has changed, but I have withered over time, become unkind, grown resentful... Maybe it is time to transform my current situation.

But what steps do I take? Maybe I should list out the stress contributors:

1. Work - A no-brainer. Wouldn't be work if it were stress-free. But I have some other concerns at work, which are all personal and emotional. Bugger.

2. Home - Parents may nag, but they don't live forever, you know. It's time to be mentally prepared. I don't know what to expect, though. Will I survive their absence in my solitary existence?

3. Relationship - The lack of it, to be precise. Is it necessary to survive? Or is it just another source of stress? Ignorance is killing me... Yet to be fully aware is a challenge, and I don't intend to be unscrupulous or indiscriminate in my ways. Don't fool yourself, girl. Everyone has standards.

4. Friendship - Aren't forever, at least not at every single moment. It takes a great deal of effort to upkeep. Even my best friend, that's myself, fall out with me from time to time. But some friends do warm my heart when they lend a helping hand unexpectedly. Maybe it's good karma from my past lives. I'm thankful, though I'm too inwardly occupied to show it now.

5. Health - Practically on the downhill. All due to the above stress contributors, and has in fact become a major source of pressure itself. A vicious cycle, a chicken-and-egg problem.

6. Activities - Should I drop Toastmasters? Should I pick up music and dance again? Or maybe they are all inconsequential? Perhaps what I do is not the issue, but how I approach the activity is?

What a list. And I still have no idea what to do with it. But at least it is off my mind for now.

Let me sleep my confusion away and hope for a clear nose and throat tomorrow at work. I still have the rest of my life to figure out how to lead my life, if there were anything to figure out at all.

Ah, maybe there isn't....

Espirit Sunglasses...

2010-10-24T23:04:00.001+08:00

Are excellent! They are hardy, not too old fashioned, comfortable, offer good protection, and so-called-branded at the same time!

I have a pair, which I bought at close to 200 bucks. I never regretted, as it has served me so well over more than a year, I am beginning to wonder if I can ever find a replacement if o lose it. Coming from a clumsy girl who flings her stuff around carelessly, the pair of Espirit has indeed proven itself worthy of applause!

Frustrations, Just Frustrations

2010-10-04T02:04:00.001+08:00

Has been a long time since my last entry. It's almost 2 am. I have the full workweek ahead, and yet I can't sleep a wink.

Have I slept too much over the weekend? Perhaps, as I have been exhausted from all the activities in the past month. Toastmasters project night, toastmasters exco meeting, toastmasters contests, toastmasters chapter meeting, work meetings with teleconference, my birthday, outings with colleagues... It has been too much. Just too much. I don't even have time to speak to myself. Now let me vent.

Firstly, work. All is fine, except that I have no idea whether I'm doing well. Some days I feel so inadequate at my job, I feel like crying. Conversely, sometimes I feel so confident, I don't know what the reason could be. Only thing I am sure of is, my commuting time is just too long, and much of my exhaustion comes from it. The journey is uncomfortable. I hate it when I'm sandwiched between men, and also women whose hair I don't intend to smell. Any perfume I wear would be gone by the time I reach office. I am this close to stealing the car keys and driving down to office, despite my lack of experience as a driver.

Secondly, Toastmasters. Who told me it was going to be a fortnightly affair? It's now a weekly affair, and between the meetings I have to prepare agendas! I thought my pre-registration method would save time, but it was ineffective, as my members give up slots, and expect me to remember their vacations... It's all getting very chaotic, with more members coming in, and very few with the ability to evaluate. Hence I have to invite external evaluators, whose favor I have to return... There goes my free time on weekends. This is frustrating, as I have spent so much time on others, and yet am not progressing fast enough myself. Frankly, I have a good mind to wash my hands off all these, but I do realise that my interaction with others during meetings have made me a more confident speaker. But the time I spend following up on responses for meetings is unrealistic and unsustainable, in my opinion. I know I have to find myself a helper, but coordinating between two people is going to be another headache. Who would update what, and when? Do we need to write an SOP for this? I really don't mind giving my post away, so that I have more time to rest on weekends, instead of having to call people up for confirmations. Must I call? Why can't they call me if they can't make it? Argh... I don't know what to say... And all the taxi fares I spent on rushing down for meetings from work! Ridiculous, anyone would say. Why are you spending so much time and getting yourself so tired? Is it worth the effort? I don't have the answer to that. I guess I have to hang on till I collapse.

Which brings me to another point: why am I so stressed? I am unattached, unmarried, have no children to care for... What excuse have I got to be so stressed I can't sleep? Lately I have been unable to forgive myself for being so fragile. Why are other people so tough, able to handle so much, when I get upset after short periods of hectic schedule, and fall sick just to catch my breath? Is there something I should stop so that I'm freer and happier? But I am also irritable when I have too much time at hand. What is the matter with me? Why is my threshold for anything so low? Am I a commitment phobic? Or do I simply have a short attention span? If I stop all activities, wouldn't I be wasting life being lazy? But why must I compare myself with others?

Ah, it's all frustration and nowhere I can vent my anger, which is largely directed at myself Maybe I am leading a life that is against my very nature, which is why I suffer despite my apparent affluent and peaceful living conditions.

Alright, time to try sleeping again. Can't imagine how i could be suffering from insomnia. Me, among all people! What's wrong???

Trivial Rejoice

2010-08-15T00:18:00.001+08:00

It's really nothing out of the ordinary at all. Nevertheless, I'm proud of it. I drove to the mall today and bought myself a nice new hifi set, which I am enjoying now.

*Grin* Yes, how silly to be glad about something like driving. Sure, anyone could drive. But I always thought that I would never drive again, as I had a couple of unhappy experiences involving my family members quarreling in the car while I panicked at the wheel. Perhaps I'm just like the other girls, who freak out and let go of the steering and scream for help from their boyfriends and husbands, the only difference being these masculine saviours do not exist in my case.

After a very close shave on my way to an important meeting which I could have missed without my mum chauffeuring me, I had to start driving lessons with my dad again. After all, my parents aren't getting any younger, and I am the only one left to drive them around in future.

Though my trip to the mall is incredibly short, I parked and returned safely, thank the Universe for being so kind to me. I'll keep learning and improving. One day I'll be able to chauffeur my old parents around, while they rest and relax. It's my turn to serve them soon.

How sweet the hifi system sounds. It's celebrating my newfound confidence with lovely classical music. Bliss!

Sad but Necessary

2010-06-20T00:29:00.000+08:00

Today, I stopped piano lessons. The reason was that I no longer had time to practise for my exam.

For the past few months, I have been struggling to find time to practise. Weekdays after work was quite tough, now that I take an hour to get home from work. On the weekends, I want to go out, relax, read books, go to the gym, and sometimes work. Piano practise limited my freedom. I felt inhibited by the impending lessons on weekends. Hence I finally decided to put this to a stop, before I start hating the instrument.

I still love the piano, and want to play for leisure. Hence I have put my exam pieces aside and started a new, simple piece. I want to keep playing, without the stressful thoughts of exam preparation.

Why don't I cram for a couple of months and get the exam over with? Piano is different from engineering exams. Constant and consistent practice is required for muscle memory to kick in. You can't learn a piece in a day, well at least I can't.

Why can't I give up TMC to concentrate on piano? TMC does not require consistent, nightly practice, which l am unable to sustain. TMC is an avenue for me to network, learn communication skills and improve myself, and hence is more crucial to me and my profession right now.

I guess priorities change. Nothing is permanent, and I can't hold on just because I set a goal two years ago, when my life was totally dissimilar. I am sorry, piano, but I will play whenever I can, and enjoy every session.

Love you, Wolf. Let us play what we want to, and forget about syllabi. And I will remember to tune you up.

Hectic week but ended well

2010-05-28T19:27:00.001+08:00

'Twas a hectic week. Numerous meetings not to go to, but to prepare for. Slides and papers, versions and versions of them, flew past my montior in the form of emails. On Tuesday I was SAA at TMC, a humbling experience, as it is indeed a challenge to hold the stage and ask strangers who they were, and handing the stage over to the TME when appropriate. Extremely educational and eye-opening. Next would be my P4. Now I have even become a mentor for a newbie.

A short week, which was why I worked like crazy over the last weeked, reading all the reports and proposals that eluded me in the previous week. Fortunately, my boss was understanding enough to give prompt inputs to my slides.

On thursday, after shooting the last paper off to the bosses who wanted to read it over the weekend, my colleagues and I had a fulfilling barbeque experience, where we all fumbled over the pit and tried to light mosquito coils unsuccesfully. Reminded me why I was working in an office rather than in a kitchen :)

Vesak Day morning is amazing, as I dragged myself out of bed and went for a morning wall with friends. The scenery was good, and we had an even better chitchat. I also managed to find out why a friend of mine was avoiding my messages, which eventually taught me the fact that nothing lasts forever, not even platonic relationships with supposed good friends. It is just a refreshing feeling to come clean and move on with other things and people in life. Afterall, happiness is an insider job that will not manifest when one blames misfortunes on the others. She has to learn that to get back on my frlequency again, for I have no wish to return to the frequency of negative brooding with her.

A good nap into the night set me thinking: Should I do my P4 now? Or play the piano? As my morning co-walkers said, it is always the little, unimportant decisions that are so time-consuming and hard to make. Now, let me go ponder over that... ;)

P3 and a New Responsibilty

2010-05-16T13:01:00.001+08:00

Managed to complete my P3 without referring to my notes! That was a welcomed surprise, for I always thought I would never be able to remember anything!

After my speech, the VPE beckoned me over and asked me to take his place in the new year. Hmm, I couldn't decline, for I knew he needed a break, and at the same time, I wanted a chance to try out an appointment. It would be a training ground for me in terms of skills in organisation and networking. Wonder how I would cope, but no time to ponder over that! Just plunge in!

Another TMC Role

2010-04-27T23:31:00.001+08:00

I was the table topics master today. It was lots of fun watching people talk on the topics I have chosen, and enjoy the process. I wad nervous, of course, and did not know where to put my hands, but it was a good experience. Engaging people for a session that requires volunteering really taught me a valuable lesson. Dealing with silence and blank faces was awkward, but enlightening at the same time. Hosting a program is definitely an art!

Last but not least, I'll remember to come up with fewer words for the topics in future.

Rabbits and The Weather

2010-04-20T23:13:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning from a happy dream of having much fun at a colleague's place, when I checked the time. It was nine in the morning. Was it Sunday, I thought to myself. Then I was startled. No, it was a workday!

In the next ten minutes to come, I discovered my superhuman powers of dashing around the house, washing up and changing into work clothes. No time to brush my hair, no time to drink, let alone eat breakfast. I had to call a cab, and put on my makeup during the jerky ride, leaving me nauseous.

I wish I could sprint to office, but my heel hurt from a poorly fitted shoe. Within half an hour and twenty dollars spent on the cab fare, I was at the glass door to my corridor, when I spotted my boss. Better to let him know I'm late, rather than him thinking I never came to work, I told myself, and bravely pushed the door open to let myself in. Sure enough my boss saw me in the corner of his eye, but he went back to his conversation without commenting on my lateness. Alas, I was an hour later than my usual start time!

What an experience! But I was lucky that the weather was great all the way till night, as I made plans to go swimming. The day ended with a great meal after a satisfying workout in the pool. I am now ready to go to bed again! I hope all will be fine tomorrow morning, as I intend to finish a major assignment for review. Yes, I will enjoy an early morning in the train, reading while resting on the seat! No doubt about that.

Growing Younger?

2010-04-17T00:43:00.000+08:00

Strangely, today, in office, I seemed to have been possessed by a child. No, not in that way. What took over, was the child-like me. I played with the supermarket trolley, and assumed the role of a little mischievous girl. Totally went gaga over things... It was a childish high!

Though I looked ridiculous, I felt wonderful. It was pure joy, without the shackles of adulthood, where everyone is supposed to behave sophisticatedly. Well, it would be great if I could always feel like a child, and look like a young adult, for many years to come! Maturity is not how you act or what you say, but what you think, and how you react. I still think like a child, but I react less rashly nowadays. Now isn't that an arrogant statement to make? Duh! ;)

Made that Second Step

2010-04-14T00:25:00.000+08:00

I have completed my TMC P2! It was a fine experience, though, I felt like I could have rehearsed more. Afterall, it was project night, and the audience was small to begin with. If I rehearsed a little more, I would have been able to make it without notes. But then again, how could I have rehearsed more if I was stuck with a corporate presentation, and started writing my script for TMC only two days before project night?

This time round, I have to start writing my script as soon as I can. It's time to start on a topic search. I do have one in mind, though I did not want to take it so early, as it is a heavy topic indeed. Well, sometimes, you just got to do what you got to do. So I guess there is no problem with going ahead with a topic everyone dreads. That would be... Job loss and its effects. This is so close to heart, I don't know how I should tackle the script. But, no excuses! Let me start drafting while I doze off to bed... :)

Giving thanks to 5 april 10

2010-04-05T23:40:00.000+08:00

Have just decided that this blog might be a good place to pen down my thoughts of gratitude, when I am too tired to hold the real physical pen. Here goes:

I am glad that I did not wake up with a sore throat.

I am thankful that the rain was not too heavy.

A million thank yous for the seat on the train that allowed me run through my slides again.

Thank you for my accomodating audience and encouraging supervisor!

Thank you for my supervisor's honest feedback.

What a pleasant surprise that my support staff already got my nameplates ready.

Thanks for the completion of my laptop repair.

Thank the forum organisers for letting us change the exhibition viewing start time at the very last minute.

I am thankful for my good eyesight!

Better stop here, else the page might just overflow with endless statements of gratitude. There is so much to thank for every single day.

Self assessment of today's presentation

2010-04-05T20:03:00.000+08:00

As a wrapup, I think it would be good to self examine my performance today at the platform.

The Good:
I was clear.
My pace was just right.
I only referred to my notes to pick up from where I was interrupted. There was some eye contact.
My style was concise, without excess rambling.
The Not-So-Good:
I neglected the audience on the right, as my positioning was not ideal.
I circled on a point with the laser pointer and faced just the screen when unsure of the content.
Despite the script, there were pause fillers!

Alright, that was my report of self-examination. Hope I improve on the not-so-good, and carry on executing the good better!

First corporate presentation

2010-04-05T19:04:00.000+08:00

And I did not screw up! Well it was not a hugely demanding audience, but at least it went well, and they sort of understood what I was trying to convey. My boss gave me rather positive feedback, that my pace was good, and my delivery was clear. In short, a good attempt. Did not manage to give concrete answers to questions raised, but hey, I tried!

Other than my brand new slide presenter remote gadget that gave me the flexibility of not being confined to the mouse or keyboard, I must thank TMC for my humble little success today. Though I have not passed P2, one thing I learnt from P1 is, that it is not an embarrassment to pen a full script. That was what I did, as I wrote better that I spoke, and then I transferred all the sentences to condensed points on my cue cards, which my boss remarked that I fortunately did not read out from. All that took ages to prepare, and my entire Sunday was burnt out on the preparation for one presentation. Well, an ineffective method, you may think, but at least it pulled me through, and I am definitely happy with myself.

But of course, I know I could do better in future. Now it is time to tackle P2!

TM P1 Is Completed

2010-03-09T22:55:00.000+08:00

Yes, I did my Icebreaker tonight! Amazingly, I did not use notes! I thought I would have crumbled without notes or visual aids at work presentations, but somehow this speech took on a life of its own, and flowed on without major pauses.

For improvements, I would have to work on using the space by pacing a little. My major problem was still voice projection.

Now it is time to think about the next project. Oh, it is getting tougher! But I am very glad with myself for taking the first step. :)

The Stairs of Chongqing

2010-02-23T00:16:00.000+08:00

She was ten years older than him, widowed and ridiculed for taking him in. It was an immoral relationship. Finally, he proposed to run away with her and her four children to start a new life in the hills, away from gossip.

They spent three full years building a house, creating bricks from scratch by hand. So that she and the children could leave the mountain for errands and school, he started carving steps on the slope, painstakingly with a simple hammer and chisel set.

They lived as a family for 50 years, away from the reaches of society. By then, he had carved 6000 steps in the hill for his family members, while maintaining them free of moss and crevices at the same time.

He suffered from a stroke one night. At the age of 80, she struggled down 6000 steps, half crawling, to reach her son's house for medical help. They were too late. He passed on.

Now she is living with her son at the foot of the hill. Her house that she built with her old mate collapsed last year from neglect. Even the stairs showed signs of being worn away by the plants along them, as he was no longer there to repair the faults.

She sobs, lamenting that he won by leaving her behind. She misses him every single day. According to her, she doesn't know what is meant by 'love'. It is her belief that two people have to respect and cherish each other once they come together. It is that simple.

This is the life story of Xu Chaoqin and Lu Guojiang, which I just watched in the third episode of 'Designed by Love' on ChannelNewsAsia. This is more than just romance in the movies. He did not give her flowers or diamonds. He gave her what she and her children needed, which is all he had, manifested in his life's masterpiece. At the same time, he received warmth and companionship, what he yearned for as an abandoned youth. He had the courage to give and receive, and so did she.

I will find a soulmate of such calibre one day. :)

Bliss is ...

2010-02-18T07:40:00.000+08:00

When you hear a cheerful piece on radio to hum along too while putting on makeup, and realise that you can listen to it again when walking to the MRT station with the LivePause function in your iPod Nano!

Packing My New Year

2010-02-08T21:13:00.000+08:00

Since 2010 started, work and off-work have both been mad chases. Leadership transition took place in office, while TMC activities began to pick up. Piano lessons are still on my schedule, and I foolishly added a dance class to the heap of todos. Fortunately, dance class was only short term, and loads of non-committal fun.

In just a week, I agreed to 3 TMC appointments and a planned trip. It is almost like a now-or-never rush, which is actually true. Waiting for the next opportunity is just an excuse to escape the open door ahead. Senseless and fruitless.

Now the only other aim of mine is to maintain my health, so that I can achieve what I want. That is the main challenge.

Consolation Prize for the Watsons Draw

2010-01-27T20:12:00.001+08:00

I went to redeem it tonight. And what was it? A packet of tissue paper! Haha, at least it is useful to me.

Crossed the Line I Did

2010-01-26T22:19:00.000+08:00

So I braved my nagging cough to attend my first Toastmasters chapter meeting as a new member of the club, having skipped my dinner with only one thought in my mind: not be late for my new member induction. I was just in time, and even had the chance to participate in the table topics session, which I had psyched myself up for throughout the whole day during toilet breaks at office. To myself I said, there is no reason to not speak at any meeting if I could help it. So if I do not get to fill a role or give a speech, I should volunteer for an impromptu topic! And so I did. There were countless pause fillers in between, despite my original belief that I was ah-free. But the structure was there, I managed to use at least a phrase that was considered one of the gems for the night, and guess what? I won the ribbon for the best table topic speaker of the night! At least my efforts did not go to waste! Now I am all excited for my next project, the ice breaker speech!

2010, Let me embrace you!

2010-01-01T00:33:00.001+08:00

So 2009 has just passed. As a summary, here was what I did last year : I passed my Grade 6 piano, my Grade 3 singing, lost my first job, found a new job in a brand new field, travelled to Japan for a second time, gave myself a new name for convenience in the office, worried over a friend stricken by H1N1, signed up for a dance course, put on weight, got addicted to Facebook, lost momentum for piano practice, gave away my turtle, registered with Toastmasters, underwent lasik and found interest in Buddhism. So 2009 was an eventful year for yours truly. For 2010, I do look forward to my 30th year on earth, and plan to do the following: Travel to countries nearby, exercise regularly, pass Grade 8 piano, lose unnecessary fat, apply the law of attraction to draw what I desire into my life, improve my communication skills, stay young and happy, pick up driving again and perform well at my job. Gosh, what a long list! I better buck up and start working through them! First, some time management...

A Little Adventure at TM

2009-12-20T01:41:00.002+08:00

Today I did the unthinkable, at least by my standards. I walked into a Toastmasters chapter meeting without an invitation. It was at GR, and I braved the heavy rain, arriving at the club with my back and feet all wet. What luck, I thought. But three hours later, I was glad I made the decision to gatecrash.

Although there were few core members today, there were three solid prepared speeches, a word of the day, a nice chitchat-cum-break session where friendly faces welcomed me, evaluations, and an impromptu session. I was invited to join in, and I was pleasantly surprised that I actually managed to tell a short story of 2+ minutes, which made sense and drew some laughter. I thought I would have fainted at the podium, but I did it. Am indeed impressed with myself, despite the 6 pause fillers that crept into my little speech.

I was very happy with the proceedings of the club, and liked the personalities of the members, who come from different walks of life. I think I would join this club as soon as possible and start on my TM journey. But first, I shall visit another nearby club and make comparisons. Afterall, I need all the practice I can in public speaking, and having multiple club memberships won't hurt.

Lethargy

2009-12-13T13:48:00.000+08:00

I have been down with flu for five days, and the inflammation in my throat seems to linger. Have I not slept enough? My head throbs lightly, making me feel drowsy. I feel bored and want to go out for a walk, but the hot sun kills my enthusiasm. Hate flus. I thought sleep was my infallible ally, but this time round this antidote of mine is not effective anymore. Could I have slept too much?

Trying out a third time

2009-11-01T00:53:00.001+08:00

This is my third attempt at growing a plant. The first one was with a genus that I cannot recall. It started off very well for almost a year, but suddenly became very ill and died within a week. Then there was the african violet that grew fine, but started to harbour little larvae and flies that got me so hot and bothered that I threw it away. Now I am trying out the new crystal soil, a modern substitute for soil suitable only for water-loving indoor plants. Hence my new money plant now sits in the crystal soil that took about five hours to absorb water before appearing saturated and pearl-like. Hope my latest attempt at growing this hardy plant will bring some peace and happiness to my room and those who stop to admire it.

Of Stickers and Magic Pens

2009-10-26T19:38:00.000+08:00

Photo stickers, slam dunk, felt pens... Those were my precious JC days, with my clique of girlfriends who hung out at the sidelines of the soccer field and passed chips of ice with straws at KAP.

Much has changed since our final teenage years. J has returned after a two-year stint in the desert, Q has been taken ill, YX and myself have been hit by the economic downturn, YL has given birth to a pair of dearies, and WL has opened a new branch in SG. What has been kept well is, other than our schooling memories, our stationery from those years.

Of course, J still has the set of coloured felt pens that she decorated her notes with. YX has some photo stickers of us worthy of making it to the collector's list, and YL has stickers from pre-JC days. I have my magic pens from secondary school art class too.

After two plus hours of harmless squabbling, writer's blocks, teasing the kids and frantic decoration, the card for Q came to completion. Reminisce of our epic effort to fill up YL's wedding giftbook.

What a sweet afternoon spent with my dear friends. Two were missing not by choice, but we were all connected by our little creation, a symbol of our bond that is stronger than I had expected.

Just a Bite - Heroin

2009-10-22T07:39:00.000+08:00

Just learnt that heroin is made from opium, a major export of Afghanistan. Opium causes more deaths than any other drugs.

Taken Advantage by a Newbie

2009-10-15T20:40:00.002+08:00

I must have become too nice to colleagues lately. Perhaps the loss of office changed me into a lamb. How I used to demand stuff from my juniors and even managers... I must have lost all of that. Good news? Not so sure.

I have become a victim of office taichi. To think that I would fall prey to a newbie, somebody who has never worked before. Me, a veteran of six years, despite being new in the public sector! Pisses me off to think about it.

Originally, I thought it was a good idea to finish up what I have started, so that the newbie could work on the rest of the meeting materials, the agenda, and the matters arising. Afterall, the minuting officer of the previous meeting took time to write me a detailed list of TODOs, so that I could start preparing for the next one. But the newbie apparently took me for granted. Just as I thought my portion was complete, she went on training without a word of warning, and announced that I was helping her with her work. She had no intention of doing her job, and had the cheek to ask me to follow up. I had no choice, as everybody was under the impression that I willingly took on the responsibility. Grief!

Twice she had been told to update the agenda and get inputs for matters arising, but she left with the agenda half-done, and the matters arising unstarted. "You mean there are matters arising?" I almost ate the phone when I saw that SMS. I had to spend time waiting at the door of the supervisor with the action item.

Sending the materials out was no simple business. The dissemination list was extremely long, and the order of names was important. I started getting calls and emails about absentees, replacements, updated materials, missing materials (scroll down further la... too many files!), which pages to print, what order to file the papers in, when the next materials will be sent out... I had to endure all the interruption for something that could have been none of my business.

At the end of the day, I received SMSes asking me whether there was anything else to follow up or prepare for the meeting. No more pampering for the irresponsible newbie! She will have to deal with the actual meeting herself.

I guess I am angrier with myself for letting myself be a pushover, after being a little troublemaker for so many years. But the department is so small, I can't afford to make enemies... :S

Bob Blogs

2009-10-05T01:11:00.000+08:00

Ever since I had a drastic new haircut that reduced my shoulder-length tresses to a bob, I have had many interesting conversations with people with varied reactions.

First was my sister-in-law, who envied my new bob, as her hair is too wavy to spot a similar cut, which she considered slick and classic. Then was my mother, who reprimanded me for making myself look childish and unfeminine all over again. My brother suggested that I should go for a highlight so that I do not look too much like a country bum, which I was very against as I enjoy having natural black hair.

Some colleagues asked me if I suffered some setback to take such extreme measures, others found my new look refreshing. My friends were more encouraging, as many of them wear their hair short too.

I personally feel extremely light after the haircut. Even my heart felt lighter, and my footsteps were similarly more springy. The bob brought me to my younger days, where I was truly myself, dashed about alot, and never worried about hairfall and wet pillows.

I smile more readily with my new bob too, and others return the smile more often too. Hmm, I guess a child-like appearance does create more rapport in most cases.

Long hair seemed to restrict me in many ways. It made me feel older, despite making me look more lady-like. It reminded me constantly that I should behave. It moulded me into somebody I should be, but not what I really was.

Though the big 30 looms large, I have not felt more pressured than I did before. A girlfriend just reminded me, how upset I was years ago, telling her about how girls are like christmas log cakes, when I turned 25. Now, we are laughing about our singlehood and enjoying the freedom that it entails.

Couplehood is still a pretty nice idea, but singlehood should not be too revolting when one does not attach self-worth to a number that the society imposes on women, in particular. Similarly, bobs should not be linked with poor style or juvenileness. If it makes one feel younger, it is due to the reduced attachment to something that is transient (goodness, why cry during a haircut? Hair grows!), and the understanding that beauty may be skin-deep, but a spiritual glow comes from within.
Comfort for those who think I look worse now and are worried sick over it: Hair grows. In no time, it will be long again.

Whether I will ever cut it short again? No promises. :)

Too Busy to Work

2009-09-21T23:07:00.000+08:00

That's a term I just coined to explain my situation this weekend. I intended to complete a task, but the long weekend spoiled it for me.

Firstly, my JC pals got together for a Friday dinner. On Saturday, I rushed down to BC for a quick evaluation, then met with my new art enthusiast friend for a day at the museum, after which I developed a craving for laksa, and managed to find a delicious bowl of the sinful Singaporean delicacy. Then there was the karaoke and pool sessions on Sunday, which ended with my travelmate and me listening to a half-baked performance at Esplanade concourse and eventually combing the supermarket for baking ingredients.

Tomorrow will be another busy working day, but I chose to spend the day with my buddy, watching the new Quentin Tarantino movie and lazing at the mall for long chit-chats. Yes, I wanted to exercise at the gym, but I woke up with a frightful red eye, and resolved to staying indoors till the swell subsided.

Now, another holiday is over, and work will start piling up again. I would have cleared some emails if I had the time, but was simply too busy catching up with friends and making merry to achieve anything of value, other than checking out the company benefits and reimbursement scheme.

What a pity that I was too busy to work, as the long weekend spoiled my plan of diligence. And am I sorry? Not really ;).

Doorkeepers of the Living Galleries

2009-09-19T18:53:00.000+08:00

New statues have been placed at the Living Galleries of the National Museum. They represent fashion, music and technology, I think :). Most amusing is the ancient beauty with her notebook.

Chopin's Nocturne in E flat major Op. 9 No. 2

2009-09-13T20:22:00.000+08:00

It must be at least the hundredth time I have heard this piece. Lately, it has crept into my iPod again through a free piano podcast. One morning I came across it again while walking to the MRT station. Then I started smiling unconsciously. Who else but me would ever be perked up in the morning by a piece meant to be played at night?

Google for it - it is a world-famous covered by thousands of artistes and amateurs. It starts off with a theme, which is harmlessly quiet and fragile. Then the same theme is repeated again with embellishments. A second section sounding pensive and uncertain follows, and leads back to the main theme yet again, with even more decorations. All these are repeated, before an extension brings the piece to a climax, ending with a resolution to peace once again. In short, a repetitive piece, which I enjoy listening to repetitively.

I guess this common piece strikes a chord in me because it goes in circles, with a little twist in every cycle. I love the little runaway ornaments which always return to the main melody. In a sense, it is like life. New beginnings occur periodically, then the excitement settles back into everyday life, and a new cycle starts, with exhilarating but tiny differences, which people would call surprises, but all eventually return to main theme after a while. All climaxes will subside to a plateau.

Perhaps I should learn to play this piece one day. Though the rises to climaxes are welcomed outlets, the falls from the the climaxes to pp are really what I look forward to. Familiarity is indeed comforting. :)

Our Musical Neighbourhood

2009-09-06T11:55:00.000+08:00

I have previously written about the pianist, the flutist, the lone player of the pipes, and the many singers in my neighbourhood.

This morning, after my piano class, I strolled home and discovered yet another musical instrument in my block. Someone was learning the violin! I am sure it was live, not recorded, as there were slight tuning issues, which did not affect the playing as a whole. Whoever it was, that was a rather well-played passage. String instruments are infamously tough to keep in-tune.

I have been wondering if anybody plays the harp. I have never seen one live, and wouldn't mind a chance to flick a few strings. :)

Morning at the Raffles Country Club

2009-08-31T19:51:00.000+08:00

While waiting for my boss to arrive for this morning's meeting, I strolled around at the lobby of the Raffles Country Club at Tuas.

I have not felt a sense of joy in the morning since the KimuTaku busstop poster was removed. But today, I was greeted by a shimmering body of water as I entered the club, with a cool inviting breeze blowing in my hair. What a great view.

I would have ventured to the greens if it were not restricted to members. Ah, but at least the carps in the pond were sweet enough to swim over to say a brief hello.

No wonder people pay so much to enter such clubs. I could just sit and meditate all day at the cafe. Now, this is exactly what a holiday would be for me!

Travelling With Me

2009-08-17T09:06:00.000+08:00

I have not travelled alone for many years. I wonder if I have lost my guts to do so. But what am I afraid of? Years ago, I was fearless about travelling to other cities within Germany on my own, despite being prone to losing my way. So what am I afraid of now?

I guess I am afraid of what others may think, what danger I might be subjecting myself to, and that I might not make it home safely. Sometimes I can't believe what a baby I am. Duh...

Maybe it is time to plan for a trip alone, maybe to a familiar place first, where the language is not impossible to me. After that I could proceed to more countries which are outside my comfort zone.

It would be a great chance to get to know myself again. My self, who enjoyed reading during dinner alone. My self, who combed bookstores without feeling any need of smsing friends to chit chat. My dear self, who spoke to herself and laughed at crazy, fleeting thoughts. My only self, who was happy to be herself and nobody else.

Full Bloom in TP

2009-08-16T19:35:00.001+08:00

Flowers at Toa Payoh.. A rather pretty sight reminding me of sakura season in Japan.

I Saw a Cat Leap

2009-06-28T13:51:00.001+08:00

An extraordinary leap. She was looking straight at me while i walked uphill on a walkway flanked by tall stone walls. I said hello, but she was startled, turned towards one of the walls at least 50 cm from her, and jumped.

I thought she was not going to make it, as her rigid body was still about 30 cm from the edge of the 2m-tall wall when it was near the peak of the parabola. Then, miraculously, the cat defied the rules of the parabolic curve, and seemingly propelled herself directly forward, parallel to the ground, with a small nimble stretch of her body, and caught the wall with all four claws. Safe!

Cats never cease to amaze me. I passed by the wall as she looked down suspiciously at me. Don't worry, high jump champion, I can't reach you anyway ;).

Bye bye Michael

2009-06-26T17:16:00.000+08:00

The date of my last day in my first job is marked by another piece of world news: Michael Jackson is dead.

What a shock. The pop icon of my childhood and youth years, gone at the young age of 50. The moonwalker, the Peter Pan, the black man turned white, the incredible dancer, the King of Pop... Even my secondary school anniversary was celebrated to his number "Heal the World". His MTV for "Black or White" is almost one of the most recognisable videos ever.
Michael Jackson. I was never his fan, but was nevertheless impressed by his colourful songs and dances. It feels strange to hear of the demise of such a great figure that almost nobody would not recognise. I guess the days to follow will be filled with his stories and news of his funeral.

A Journal for the Soul

2009-06-16T03:58:00.000+08:00

I've embarked on a new journal writing spree. No, it is different from writing a blog. Private journal entries can be incoherent, random and illegible. Nothing has to make sense, but everything will fall into place.

Writing as if I would speak really helps empty my busy mind out. Strangely, even my long-lost chinese characters came back in a sudden rush. I was writing more fluently than ever. And completing an entry with an irrelevant statement is no crime either.

Maybe journal or diary keeping would be a great way of keeping one's thoughts and emotions in check. This is how I will start practising mindfulness. What a challenge, but I feel as if I have won already after pouring my heart out over pages and pages of unashamed scribbling. A great start.

Under The Same Roof Again

2009-06-14T02:00:00.000+08:00

While giving away some old videos, I found a wonderful Japanese series. It is the once popular Under The Same Roof 2, starring Eguchi Yousuke, Sakai Noriko and Fukuyama Masashi.

Just the theme song is already enough to bring back memories of staying home every Saturday morning to watch this heartwarming drama. Four brothers and two sisters, all living under the same roof, each with his or her own story. Tatsuya, the fatherly figure, the eldest brother who had to give up running due to an injury. Masaya, the accomplished surgeon, secretly in love with Koyuki. Koyuki, the motherly figure, adopted into the family before her younger siblings were old enough to understand anything, and is in love with Tatsuya. Kazuya, the joker, once a gangster, but reformed into a kind brother. Koume, the little princess of the family, brutally raped as a high school student, trying to live a new life in University away from the bonds and shackles of the dreadful past. Fumiya, the youngest boy, wheelchair-bound little artist. The family of six struggle to deal with the challenges of everyday life with positive attitudes. They would kill to protect one another.

I have not seen such a warm family drama from Japan for some time. Romance, thrillers, fantasy etc are getting a little dry. Family comedies, decked with touching episodes of brotherly love, is definitely a winning formula. Well, for me, at least. They are nourishment for the soul.

Thirteen More Days...

2009-06-09T19:32:00.000+08:00

To a normal state of being!

The past few months have been full of anger, despair, regret and spite. There were moments and stretches of hope, compassion, friendship and gratitude too, but those too contributed to emotional instability. The extended periods of idlenesss will prove to be a big challenge for me next month.

To prepare myself for the change, I have browsed through some basic spiritual writings, kept away from gossip and gossipers, helped friends in similar situations, and learnt to communicate more with my own family.

Hopefully my efforts will pay off when I arrive at the next stage. I do not expect great success. But I would like to see myself progress spiritually and intellectually. I might have to neglect some other aspects of life that everyone is advising me to work on. My apologies, but those are just secondary to me, and contribute to stress and worry.

Lee Jun Ki - J Style MV

2009-06-06T05:22:00.001+08:00

超爱他的美，他的妖：）

港剧魅力

2009-06-04T23:48:00.000+08:00

港剧其实新意少,　没有什么意料之外的故事。但是它的简单正是受欢迎的原因。一集内高潮迭起，爱恨情仇，五花八门，令人目不遐给，不追不快。　
　
对我来说，港剧最迷人的便是大结局。永远地幸福美满…多么不真实，却是我最渴望看到的。大概不只我是这样吧，要不然剧本也不会都这么写！

Keep Smiling

2009-06-04T00:11:00.001+08:00

It has been convenient to complain and sulk when one is in my current situation. To constantly remind myself to cheer up and look on the bright side, I have invited the smiling cat above to join me in office. Her name is Nici. And of course she is always smiling as if she's looking at a fat piece of salmon. When my kakis are away, Nici is my sole companion. Yes, it is fine to be alone. Yes, it does not kill to keep quiet. Yes, it is no big deal that the piano is not around during working hours. Yes, I should stay motivated and help my colleagues whenever I can, without getting too involved or frustrated. Yes, I should smile like I have seen Jacky Cheung live on stage again!

Sun Is Good for Shell

2009-05-31T17:33:00.001+08:00

Yes... Love the strong sunlight. We reptiles need lots of sun to aid with bodily functions. Wait, wait! Don't put the blinds down!

Becoming Your Own Best Friend

2009-05-29T01:10:00.000+08:00

Some wise words about caring too much about what others think of us from Godwin Samararatne:

"Sometimes I like to use this metaphor of toys. Although we are grown up, we still need there external toys. We can be changing one toy for another and still not getting satisfied with that toy. It is a case of just continuously changing toys and still not really being content, not really being self-contained. This is one of the greatest challenges we have.

This is why I have been encouraging you to spend some time alone and to see if you feel lonely or bored with yourself when you are alone. See how far you can learn to be your own best friend in that situation. If that connection can be made, then you become your own toy. When you can see yourself as your toy, you'll find yourself very amusing, entertaining and interesting. You have everything within yourself.

Then something beautiful happens. When you are alone, you can play with the toy, and when you are with others you can enjoy others. So this is another challenge we have in relationships, and again using that challenge to grow spiritually. Then whether you get plusses or minuses from others, praise or disapproval from others, you become self-contained within yourself."

I think this means that if you accept yourself as if you were your own precious best friend, you would be able to see your merits beyond what others think of you. No matter how people dismiss your abilities, you will never forget that you are a respectful and likeable individual, because you are always your own best friend. You must always stand by yourself to fend off any monsters that undermine your self-worth.

A Haunting on Discovery Channel - Action and Reaction

2009-05-23T23:59:00.000+08:00

I have just watched an episode on Dartford Cemetery, where trippers and young students keep visiting to find out whether the legends are true. Legends of ghost sightings and unknown forces pushing off those who sit on the grave.

Why sit on somebody's grave? I cannot understand the point of that. Is this a display of teenage rebellion? Do they expect anything good in return when they intrude with unkind intentions? And they claimed that those spirits were evil, as some of them suffered physical injury. I would think that defending one's home from intrusion is hardly worthy of the accusation of being "evil".

One of them interpreted a nightmare after the visit as a warming message from the nether worlds for him not to return to the cemetery. I think he failed to see the point. He had a guilty conscience, and hence formulated the dream for himself as a reminder of appropriate behaviour. I hope he will one day understand that he has nobody but himself to blame for every single event on that haunting night. There were no evil spirits. There were only people with malicious intentions to provoke, only to complain when they get a reaction. Totally nonsensical.

Redirecting Destructive Energy: My Attempt at Mindfulness

2009-05-22T23:55:00.000+08:00

Having learnt that anger is a kind of energy that can be redirected to something constructive, I tried that today.

I was mindful, aware that I was angry and impatient about my mum taking such a long time at the photo lab. I know that she could have saved time if she did some pre-selection at home. But it was already too late. Could she stop there and then? No, already half-way through, did not make sense to stop. Could I speed it up? No, she has to do her own selection, I cannot help. Should I leave? No, I have to help out if there are glitches. Was I in a hurry? Frankly, not really, as I'd probably be lazing at home aimlessly anyway. Will it speed up the process if I get angry and tell her to hurry up? No, it will take a longer time because we will spend time quarrelling.

Reasoning with myself for a while, I realised it would do no good if I lost my patience. So I decided to read my book on meditation, listen to the chatter among the workers, and observe my breath and thoughts when the level of impatience rose. That helped me tide over the two-hour wait. I cannot say I was happy about it, but at least I managed to keep my excess energy to good use. Pretty good for someone as impatient as me.

I know I will lose my temper again very soon, when I do not think before I speak, but this is at least a good start. :)

All-in-one Backfires - Boy at the Library

2009-05-20T23:32:00.000+08:00

While I waited in line at my local public library this evening to collect my reservation from the counter, the patron before me had some technical difficulties.

He was a timid young schoolboy in his early teens. Handing over his student pass, which also doubles up as his ezLink card, he wishes to activate his library membership. The officer at the counter did a quick computer check and asked,"Have you ever reported the loss of your ezLink card?" The soft-spoken boy said yes.

It turned out that if someone uses the lost card, which has the same number, to borrow expensive books without returning, the boy would have to bear the costs of replacement. The teen then decided to get a new library card for loan purposes. But it would cost him five dollars, which he clearly could not produce out of the pocket. Hence he thought of risking it and use his student pass for loans.

"Then I need you to sign a consent form, as you need to assume full responsibility for the use of this card for loans," informed the officer. The idea of a consent form must have scared the youngster off, as he gave up activating the student pass too.

I was curious about the matter and asked the officer, "Why couldn't he use his IC?" The officer replied,"Because the IC also has the same number! Poor thing, ya?"

Indeed, that was a case that could not have been rare. Poor boy. I hope he did not need the books too urgently. I was quite surprised that he did not whip out the five bucks immediately, as most teens nowadays find Starbucks coffee affordable. If I am not mistaken, back when I was a child with citizenship, my first library card was free-of-charge. Or did I pay a dollar? But certainly not five. That was likely the price for a replacement.

Well, different passes sharing the same number can be a big security issue, not to mention that many of us have another crucial pass to add to the list: The international passport. Good grief. Drop one, you've lost them all!

Roam Rome Again?

2009-05-11T01:50:00.000+08:00

Am now watching the Seven Wonders of Rome on Discovery Channel. It has already been seven years since I returned from Europe. Shall I go back again within the next few years, perhaps to mark a decade of my amazing overseas attachment?

Miss my friends in Germany. I cannot forget the wonderful interior of the Vatican City. Of course, there was the Leaning Tower of Pisa too.

Maybe I should plan for a long trip next year. :)

My First Tuning Today!

2009-05-10T10:46:00.001+08:00

Oosh, it's me, Wolf, again. I just got my first tuning after almost half a year. I was so off-tune, close to a semitone lower, with my high B and C buzzing so loudly that my owner was about to leave me to buzz in eternity, if not for the option of tuning. Now I sound sweet and bright again. :) Nice to have my owner smiling again as she plays!

The Stranger In Me

2009-05-08T21:14:00.000+08:00

Just watched a meaningful German film, Das Fremde in Mir, with C.

Rebecca happily awaited the birth of her son Lukas while renovating the baby room. But everything changed upon the arrival of the newborn. The very instant Lukas touched her with his baby hands while the ubilical cord was being cut, she felt a strange resentment for the child. Everybody adored the baby, but she did not feel as excited as the rest of the world. She longed for her mother, abhorred her husband Julian's affections, and unconsciously left Lukas in his pram while she herself boarded the tram.

Yes, it was post-natal depression. Rebecca could hardly breathe with Lukas around. She tried to return to her job as a florist, but at the slightest chuckle of the baby, she jumped in frustration. Her confidence level fell, as she avoided customers. Finally she ran away in the night to the woods, where she laid alone on the grass and soil, without nourishing herself for about a week. When she found and sent to a hospital, she was so weak she could hardly walk or speak.

While recovering, Rebecca refused to see anyone, Julian included, and only asked for her mother, who had to fly in from Toronto to care for her. Julian, in the meantime, had to quit his full-time job and took turns with his sister Elise to babysit Lukas.

As Rebecca battled her condition, Julian and family lost their trust in her. They would not leave the baby with her for even one split second, and even called the police when she brought Lukas for a safe walk. Julian's marriage with Rebecca was on the rocks, and he was nearing a mental breakdown too.

Though the young couple ended up in reconcilition, the misunderstandings the subtlely crept into their lives is painfully realistic. Rebecca felt as if she was all alone, and she could not talk to Julian, who could not comprehend her reproachful looks. Didn't they decide on having a baby together? Why was Rebecca blaming him for not being able to work at the florist now? But Rebecca never blamed him. She was too absorbed in her own problems, and could not even face her husband as she harboured suicidal and infanticidal thoughts, which were totally out of her control. Inability to communicate caused them to drift apart.

Being candid or tactful is a tough balance to strike in a relationship. Having a family is such a huge commitment, individual lives and their freedom of choice can be consumed if they are unable to adjust quickly enough. It takes a strong will and optimistic disposition to tide over the challenges life has placed before each of us, whether single, attached, married or parenting. Life is never a bed of roses.

Smile to heal a wound

2009-05-06T00:56:00.000+08:00

Articles on science and technology in this issue's The Economist are intriguing indeed. First, there is a claim that those who smile more readily are likely to stay longer in marriage than those who do not smile much. Least-smilers are three times more likely to divorce than big-smilers. Grief!

Though the study did not prove that smiling can heal a relationship, research has proven that bacteria can indeed heal cracks in concrete by turning liquid calcium compound into calcium carbonate, a major component of concrete. But bacteria die too fast, before total solidification, for the concrete to heal completely. To prolong the life expectancy of bacteria, there are plans to immobilise them in clay, which also serves as bacteria food. Bravissimo, cute little bacteria friends!

You're hired - next year

2009-05-05T01:13:00.000+08:00

An interesting article in the latest issue of The Economist revealed how American firms are beating the recession by deferring start dates. Why? Because there is a hiring freeze now, but they need the talent later.

Credit Suisse offers around six months' salary for newbies who will start a year later. Most do not pay new hires for taking the deferral, but times are so bad that even fresh graduates are taking such offers up.

Companies should be awarded creative prizes for the innovative methods of hiring without spending too much on advertisements. Some are now targeting free social networking sites like LinkedIn, which is actually no surprise. But even Facebook is not overlooked. Oh dear, that is bad news for most! Imagine having to maintain two Facebook accounts, one for job search, the other for catching up with friends.
Nightmarish...

The Resident Feline Fatale

2009-05-02T14:43:00.001+08:00

Finally caught the resident cat sleeping unaware at my block. She is such a dear, and wisely curls up at comfortable corners, out of the scorching sun. Everyone at our block adores her, while she responds affectionately to male residents. :) What a life she leads. No need for her to flip through the recruit section: her position is secured!

The Stress of A Relationship

2009-04-26T17:14:00.000+08:00

Having heard about a couple of quick breakups among friends, I realise how difficult it is to sustain a newfound relationship, especially when the platonic stage is totally skipped.

First there is the period of heightened passion, where both parties are crazy about each other, and can't stop contacting or meeting up. They are curious about each other, have a hundred questions to ask. They visit new places together, take intimate photos, have no time for friends and family, and even dream of marriage.

Then comes the phase of exhaustion. They run out of topics, realise their differences cannot be reconciled unless someone compromises. Money issues surface, which are mostly misunderstandings. Each wants to return to the life before the relationship began, and cannot understand why the other does not comply. They get tired of the sacrifices they have to make to be together. If the pair does not survive past this phase, they would not be a pair for very long. Then comes the quarrel, cold war and the permanent separation.

I wonder how anybody can survive through the second phase, when there aren't any common interests. I respect those who march into marriage without regret for the rest of their lives. It really is not that easy. Bliss and happiness requires so much time and effort, it scares many people off.

A Hectic Day

2009-04-22T18:42:00.001+08:00

It started early in the morning. To take a test, I rode all the way to the west. After chit-chatting with PG, I rushed back to office again to catch lunch with F. After lunch I had a hard time trying to deploy my reports. Finally I managed to export them, and it was already time to leave for another consultation session. With a mind full of tasks for tomorrow, I set off to KT to collect my photo printouts. Now I am sitting in Delifrance again, for the second time in a week, examining the printouts and enjoying my dinner. Hope mum likes them better this time. I don't want to leave for home now, as I'll have to face a list of tasks to be completed before midnight! Yikes, there goes my piano practice! Better sip my last mouthful of coffee and relish this moment of relaxation...

Watching the cars go by

2009-04-22T10:22:00.001+08:00

Since my trip to Japan, I have started reading again. I used to read a lot, but somehow the habit of reading disappeared after graduation. I am not a big fan of ST either, so... Well, let us just say, the TV invaded my life and conquered the bedroom. Having read half of a book, which came as a gift from my fellow traveller, I rediscovered the joy of silently reading. Back in school, I read strange stuff like detective stories. In Germany, I read a few books of Shelock Holmes, then proceeded to German comics and tabloids. Now, I don't even read New Scientist or PC mag anymore. Something is terribly wrong! Recently I subscribed to The Economist, the much dreaded magazine back in JC. I decided, either I dive into reading business and politics, or die an apathetic hermit. Forcing myself to pick up the latest copy of the news magazine, I realised that though politics is not exactly my cup of tea, it actually is not that monstrous either. There are technology articles too, which are a joy to read. As I sit by the cafe window, watching cars go by, the memories of intensive reading during lunchtime at Alexanderplatz return to me. I have almost forgotten how fulfilling digesting words can be. Thanks to the recent trip and happenings, my old hobby is again found.

Learning a new piece

2009-04-17T20:58:00.000+08:00

Weeks since I practised anything on the piano. Here is supposedly another Grade 6 piece, the most difficult in the Sonatina album. Beethoven's Sonata in G minor, Op 49/1.

Of course this is only the first page of it. 8 more to go. I haven't figured out where to pedal. And the turns are not polished yet. But it is an addictive piece. :)

TV Commercials in Japan (Mar-April 2009) - Gatsby Body Paper

2009-04-12T19:35:00.001+08:00

Yes, a new product, it seems. WL and I saw the second of the series in Japan. Hehe, simply crazy. KimuTaku has the guts to do anything.

TV Commercials in Japan (Mar-April 2009) - Gatsby Moving Rubber

2009-04-12T19:27:00.001+08:00

The latest moving rubber commercial from Gatsby! I still think this is at least slightly modified by computer graphics. No doubt KimuTaku can really dance, but some editing has to be done to make this possible, in my humble opinion.

TV Commercials in Japan (Mar-April 2009) - Samantha Thavasa

2009-04-12T19:21:00.001+08:00

Saw this commercial on TV. Starring Kimura Takuya, which the whole reason why I noticed this CM.

Check out the dumb hairstyle and embarrassed look at the second lady's chest. Haha...

Finally a treat for the feet

2009-04-12T15:36:00.000+08:00

Being one who hardly wears lady-like shoes or sandals, I never felt the need to keep my feet conditioned, until my recent holiday overseas. I finally had the time to sit down and examine each digit. Shame on my barbaric toenails!

Hence I found a right time this afternoon to get my feet fixed. Color Zone at J8 was the obvious choice, due to its proximity to my favourite Coffee Bean booth.

The prices are not exactly cheap, but are within my expectations. The service was not bad, the room spacious enough to not feel like you are sitting shoulder to shoulder with your neighbouring customer. The seat had massaging capabilities, which I had great fun with. The pedicurist recommended a rather satisfactory colour for my extraordinary short nails, which have proven to be problematic with most colours.

I appreciated the fact that the room was relatively quiet, and that the television was off. The last time I went to a nail salon, which was more than a year ago, the workers were busy watching TV and chatting among themselves.

Not bad, I wouldn't mind visiting the salon again. It was rather a comfortable experience, so much better than my previous encounter.

Back Home!

2009-04-10T03:23:00.001+08:00

I'm home! A great two-week break with WL in Japan. Will be writing some entries on the wonderful experiences in the cities we went to. For now, here is the Mos Burger receipt I got for purchasing a Plain Dog set with fries and ice lemon tea. The fries were normal, the tea a little bland, but the sausage reminded me of German Bratwurst. Good dog it was!

累

2009-03-23T02:15:00.000+08:00

但却越夜越不能睡。心情很低落。看到一些简讯都觉得好烦好没道理，好想骂人，却得压抑。　
　
好想拿假待在家收拾心情，去除压力。　
　
好累。好累。

Exercise Piece - Promenade

2009-03-20T23:42:00.003+08:00

An exercise piece after passing G6. Rather challenging (at least for me) for a piece that looks so innocently simple...

A smooth and relaxing piece, though I should probably include more rubato to make it more sensual.

Slumdog Tragedy

2009-03-15T19:07:00.000+08:00

Advertised as a feel-good movie, Slumdog Millionaire rocked the Oscars with numerous wins. I was wondering how a happy film could storm the awards. Now I know why. It is not a happy movie. I wouldn't even classify it as romance. Every step towards the top of the gameshow pyramid is a grimace, every triumph is a stab in somebody's heart.

Is Jalam a fortunate winner? Not so sure. His desire to hold on to Latika lured him to the quiz, which not only brought back his painful past, but also subjected him to newfound ridicule and near-fatal torture. He might have found his lover, but because of his quest, she is disfigured and his brother perished under gunfire.

Does Salim deserve to meet his end? He may be no angel, but he is no devil either. His initial refusal to accept Latika as a third musketeer, and his first abandonment of her can be seen as a desire to protect his brother and himself from having to feed an extra mouth. His money-crazed actions as a child was not only his means of survival, but also helped bring up his younger sibling through theft and fraud. Although he has hurt his brother many times, he has never physically harmed Jamal in any manner. His rowdy behaviour saved the two of them from being maimed for life, and his parting gesture is another priceless gift for the only family he had. His sexual exploitation of Latika was a method of winning the trust of the gang leader and leaving poverty behind, not an intentional betrayal of Jamal. If life had not been so harsh, Salim might have become a shrewd businessman, instead of a struggling gangster.

Was Jalam jesting around when he asked for audience help for the second question which was common sense? No, his traumatic background has made it impossible to understand the concept of truth. To him, money and lies are closer to heart. Was it wit that made him choose D instead of the written B? No, it was because he has only known deceit, not honesty or kindness, in his life. Was it funny that he got the last question right by chance? No, he could not answer it because his home was torn apart before he had the chance to read the entrance of the third musketeer. Latika probably never even received any formal education. His callout to Salim was unnecessary, as Salim obviously did not know the answer either, and that foolish phonecall to the only person Jamal can contact caused the premature death of his brother.

This is a good film that attempts to reflect reality in society, though there are many incredible parts to dramatise the story. But almost every minute hurts. Slumdog is a heavy movie under the disguise of a love story, especially when one recalls that many of the children starring in the first half are slum dwellers is real life.

Feel-good? Feels good not.

Happy Birthday to SH!

2009-03-14T16:48:00.000+08:00

Hey, my only follower and teammate, happy birthday! Can't send you a gift via Facebook, so here is my manual present.

Voices used are piano, vibraphone and choir. :) Enough for you and your son ba?

Happy Birthday!

想念

2009-03-04T01:06:00.000+08:00

嫂快到德国去了，向我询问景点。记得七年前做过的网站上载了许多风景照。可惜网站出错，连 SQL error 都出现了，让我无法欣赏照片。　
　
灵机一动，拿出存档用的旧硬盘，里头果然有德国相关的资料，松了一口气。再点阅，发现了遗忘已久的纪念品：　
　
老同事的个人照，就在大家各分东西前存档的。去了西方极乐世界的同事，在过世数月前和我们其他三个捣蛋鬼嬉闹的短片。全部门出海的小电影。为曾要好的朋友们烧的碟。从前爱不拭手的动画。大学时期课余因兴趣写的软件。　
　
所有尘封的记忆，曾爱好的事，曾重视的人。好想念他们。　
　
嫂看了德国的照片，说："那时的你好年轻哦！"　
是啊，好年轻。　
　
拔掉硬盘，将回忆再度埋藏。　
　
好想念从前的自己。

Warmth in Winter

2009-02-22T20:09:00.000+08:00

Finally I have my own winter coat! I brought my usual office jacket to my last trip, and caught a bad cold.

This time round, I have my own coat, for the first time! Ah, big deal, but I always borrowed from my family members, once for as long as half a year during IA in DE!

It feels good to be able to afford something you need. I am grateful that I have my job, and friends who shopped with me. Strange to feel this way after having worked for so many years.

Back to my coat: it is a nice purple :). Yeah!

Edited pictures of tango-ing with my new coat. Yes, I am indeed nuts!

One down, one more to go!

2009-02-16T16:01:00.000+08:00

Less than twenty minutes ago, the first ever singing exam in my life was completed. Even my lovely accompanist FG was new to accompanying a singing exam.

Not a high grade, but already very challenging for me. The examiner, the big-strong-and-friendly Mr Marshall, was kind enough to explain to me where I should stand and face, and that if he weren't looking at me, he was still listening. I was stupid enough to forget my traditional song's translation, and that wasted some time for us. My poor accompanist had to stay in the room with the examiner while I rushed out to fetch the translation sheet. Ah, I had it all prepared, so how could I have forgotten?

The first song went fine, but I didn't manage to put in the feeling of warmth and splendour that my teacher so hoped for. But it was not too bad.

The second song was, in my opinion, expressed better. I have always adored this song, and the German expressions are so culturally rich. As there were three verses in the song, I was stopped at the beginning of the third verse. The examiner apologised that he did not warn us beforehand that he could stop the song when he has heard enough in order to save time, but I was not disappointed, because the best parts were already in the second verse! Lucky me. :)

The third song was a slight rollercoaster. I started the first tone too classical, and was trying to liven up the mood by switching over to broadway style. Along the way, I almost, just almost, forgot the lyrics. Thanks to the Almighty, I did not forget, and ended the song satisfactorily.

With the unaccompanied song, I had problems with breath control and expression. I wanted to sound lonely, but I could not. During the repeat, I went for a more dramatic approach. I knew my pitch wavered along the way, and my final note was impactless. After that, the examiner wrote furiously. I guess he hoped he had a larger field to fill in all his comments.

Aural was not too bad. Fortunately I prepared for it. 3A was a shock because the piece was loud and fast, and I started tapping in 3-time at first, only to realise that it was compound duple halfway. 3B was a breeze. The examiner was kind enough to give me example responses to 3C. For 3D, I knew he was trying to gear me towards the correct answer, as he rephrased the question. I was only surprised that he counted in the pulse for only one bar. Think he was pressed for time too.

Ah, sight-singing. I think it was placed last because most people are defeated by it. I was more or less beaten. When I saw there was no key signature, I thought,"Hurray, it is C major!" Then the key chord sounded, and I saw the accidentals. Grief, A minor. And there was a G natural! A double setback for Miss C-major-without-accidentals. My first 4 bars were alright, but I did not have time to figure out the last 4 bars, so my pulse fumbled as I tried to pitch. I was lucky to end on the tonic, but dynamics? I did not even have time to notice all the dynamics!

Then it was over. Less than 20 minutes. I was nervous, but according to FG, I did not show it, though only myself would have known the fact that my legs were shaking. However, I felt rather at ease looking into the eyes of the examiner. Maybe he looked nice and unclely. But when he looked down, my eyes drifted around.

Hope I do well. I wonder what he wrote on the comments sheet. Now I am eating food that I have avoided in order to preserve my vocal health. Ah, but wait, I still have to keep my voice for the piano exam. Sigh, there is aural and sight-singing too!

Now off to book shopping at Music Essentials!

Sonntag (Brahms) - Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau

2009-02-13T17:14:00.002+08:00

Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau - Brahms - Sonntag

So hab' ich doch die ganze Woche
Mein feines Liebchen nicht geseh'n,
Ich sah es an einem Sonntag
Wohl vor der Türe steh'n:
Das tausendschöne Jungfräulein,
Das tausendschöne Herzelein,
Wollte Gott, wollte Gott, ich wär' heute bei ihr!

So will mir doch die ganze Woche
Das Lachen nicht vergeh'n,
Ich sah es an einem Sonntag
Wohl in die Kirche geh'n:
Das tausendschöne Jungfräulein,
Das tausendschöne Herzelein,
Wollte Gott, wollte Gott, ich wär' heute bei ihr!

Translation:

This whole week, I have not
Seen my delicate sweetheart.
I saw her on Sunday,
Standing in front of the door:
That thousand-times beautiful girl,
That thousand-times beautiful heart,
Would, God, I were with her today!

This whole week, my laughing
Has not ceased;
I saw her on Sunday,
Going to church:
That thousand-times beautiful girl,
That thousand-times beautiful heart,
Would, God, I were with her today!

Wolf's First Technician Visit

2009-02-08T23:55:00.000+08:00

It's me, Wolf the piano, again. It has been three months since I first arrived. I was almost sent back to the factory as my owner Z found fault with a couple of my bass notes. Subsequently she came to terms with my condition. I'm not faulty, just unseasoned. :)

Hence my first meeting with the technician this morning was an important event for me. I could tell that though Z prefers me over my rival Clavinova in the living room, I am still much of a worry for her. I am, in fact, close to a living thing. My wooden parts change over time. Bugs adore my felt parts. I am a major dust attractor, so Z cleans me almost every morning. I am a loud mouth, so I'm forced to keep quiet after 11 pm. I guess I am not the most convenient of roommates. If there were to be problems with my health and voice, Z would be quite disappointed.

But it went well this morning. The technician removed my boards to check my internals. Dampers, action, strings and pedals are fine. As suspected, I am a little out of tune, but not serious enough to secure a full tuning. But Z knows I'm off-tune here and there. Oops!

What's funny is that Z has torn off the wrappers of my mothballs, causing them to vapourise too quickly. She now knows that she should leave the wrapper on, but only tear open both ends of it, so that the naphthalene can last for a year. Haha, no wonder I smelt like a closed closet for about a full week. The mothballs have also been re-hung closer to the action and felt, where they do not interfere with playing.

There are two Thirsty Camels in my tummy, below the heater now. According to the technician, they will last for two months, and will keep the felt worms away. Only catch is that replacing them will be a crucial activity to avoid spills.

The widening gaps between my keys can be tuned once my wood settles down. Tuning them right now may result in stuck keys as my wood "grows" further. Ah, I didn't know I had so many tiny tunable parts! Hmm, I am indeed one complex character.

Z looks quite satisfied with the positive diagnosis. I am fine, and will be ready for a tuning three months later. Z is looking for a second top cover for me, and I am grateful for that. She seems to have bought a second cleaning cloth for me, but has not used it yet. I was expecting a cleaning glove for removing dust, but she has gotten little two feather dusters for me, which look gay and green.

I am now awaiting the next practice session with Z. She rests on weekends, so I get to watch the TV and listen to music with her. Now she is going to watch The Marriage of Figaro. I wonder if we will both sleep through it. I prefer watching some Horowitz, if possible. :)

That's all from me. Talk to you in May!

Friendly Old MacDonald's

2009-02-06T09:35:00.000+08:00

As I was growing up in the 80s and 90s, fast food chains were widely known for unhealthy and overpriced food. Indeed, the prices have risen over the years as the value of our home currency fluctuates, but it is definitely worth reevaluating the worthiness of fast food chains today.

Firstly, do they sell healthy food? Not really, but there are some interesting additions to the menus which seem cholesterol-friendlier than those fully fried selections of yester-years. Take Mos Burger's Natsumi range as an example. No doubt costly, but the lack of white flour and relative abundance of vegetables is a great improvement from the common deep-fried-all-meat-and-bread fare. MacDonald's no longer gives out packets of condiments, which could be a cost-saving measure for the franchise, but nevertheless results in some of us consuming less of those unnecessary sauces.

Has fast food become more expensive? Not really. On the contrary, some chains are offering better deals than foodcourts and coffee shops. Again MacDonald's comes to mind, being one of the few I would patronize. A burger could cost as little as 2 bucks. If you visit with a friend, you can order 2 such burgers and share a large drink. The total price is below 7 dollars, which would be about 3.50 per head. Big eaters can try a full meal comprising a sandwich, a side and beverage below 7 dollars. Try going to an equally noisy foodcourt. Few stalls sell anything decent below 4.50 dollars. Coupled with a drink, you are looking at a bill that could easily exceed 6 dollars, yet leave a hungry man hungry. Try going to a hawker place, and a plate of rice with meat will be about 5 dollars, and you have not even ordered anything to drink. Of course, ordering ban-mian will solve all your financial problems, but then you will be eating loads of flour and fatty pork, with meagre servings of anything green. And do skip the egg and ikan bilis if ban-mian is your daily choice.

If you have to eat out and are tired of foodcourt and ban-mian, fast food could be an alternative. Judging from the rising food and retail prices, fast food has actually become relatively cheaper than our childhood years. We cannot deny that fast food is not entirely a sensible choice for the health-conscious, which should include everyone, but compared to much of the food sold in foodcourts and hawker centres, it is not a lot worse either. Sometimes healthy food just cost too much for daily consumption.

Darf ich mich nicht so verändern?

2009-02-02T09:55:00.000+08:00

Fast dreißig bin ich. Na, es gibt noch ein Jahr oder zwei. Der Druck, ein Partner zu finden, wird aber immer schwerer. Das versuche ich ebenso, ohne gute Ergebnisse.

Vielleicht fühle ich mehr zu Hause, wenn ich allein bin. Stimmt. Ich brauche Freunde, aber kann nicht jeden Tag mit verschiedenen Leuten treffen. Das macht mich müde. Hab versucht, sich zu verändern, aber nach ein Paar Monate tut das mir weh. Müdigkeit, Fremdheit, Mißtrauen sind die Gefühle, die nach mir folgen. Wofür mache ich das? Wer eigentlich bin ich? Mache ich richtig? Hab ich Zeit verbrauchen? Wann würde ich zufrieden sein? Bin ich wirklich bereit? Warum muss ich so viel ausgeben, um etwas, was ich unsicher ob ich möchte, auszusuchen? Wieso ist es so leicht bei der Anderen, aber so eine harte Arbeit bei mir? Hab ich etwas falsch getrieben, so dass ich mich selbst in so eine Situation zu finden?

Was kann ich im Leben, sondern für Familie sorgen, einfach tun? Ja, es ist nicht naturel, ledig zu bleiben. Aber was kann ich sonst tun? Alles aufhören, und nur einen Mann suchen? Das möchte ich nicht. Jemanden, irgendwen, akzeptieren? Na, das ist nicht nur meine Wahl. Die Andere haben auch das Recht zum Wahlen. Sie haben auch strenge Kriterion.

Bin zu faul zu probieren. Kann es sein, dass ein Partner nicht wichtig für mich ist? Dafür habe ich keine Antwort. Niemand ist ein Insel. Aber im Moment hab ich kein Lust, zu viel Zeit um etwas so unfruchtbar und unsicher zu investieren. Meine eigene Bildung sieht mehr fruchtbar aus. Ich bin dumm, muss um nur ein Paar Aktivitäten konzentrieren.

Hmm. Jetzt kann ich noch ein bisschen Deutsch. Gar nicht schlecht. Eine seltsame Person bin ich, ich weiß. Das finde ich selbst auch schwer zu akzeptieren, dass ich so seltsam bin. Das bin ich. Ich bin es.

Ok, zu spät, muss schlafen. Zumindesten muss ich mich selbst lieben. Ich liebe mich. :)

Melodyne - Sing like a pro

2009-01-30T16:11:00.001+08:00

Oh my god... Unglaublich... This is so much fun... I wonder what my frequency chart will look like. And being short of breath is no longer a problem, because the software can extend the length of desired notes.

Now we know why recording artistes sound so good on CD :)

初二乃音乐日

2009-01-28T02:29:00.000+08:00

早上和 hm 在新朋友前疯狂地 k 了几小时，竟然还没喊破喉咙，真是稀奇。回到家抽出 pop piano 的简谱，大弹大唱了一番。太起劲，左手快敲废了。看来今晚还是少练点琴，好好把 On Air 看完吧！　
　
好饿啊，嗓门大真费力！:-D

Jahr des Sparen

2009-01-23T04:49:00.000+08:00

Heuer gibt es die Risiko, die Arbeitsplatz zu verloren, weil die Wirtschaft der ganzen Welt so schlimm ist. Muss jetzt sparen anfangen. Das Wort "Sonderangebote" suche ich immer aus, wenn ich ins Kaufhaus gehen. Haaröl wähle ich die billigste. Schmink nutze ich nicht so oft. Krank darf ich nicht sein. Bücher kaufe ich selten. Hoffe, das ich 2009 überleben kann.

'On Air' Football Match

2009-01-20T10:22:00.001+08:00

All the tugging, strangling, elbowing, rolling on the ground... Reminds me of my JC years, as I watched my classmates fight over a ball while I stood and waited for it to be thrown in my direction.

Yes, that was captain ball, and I was the idle captain. Nevertheless much fun witnessing the semi-violence and comedies on the court :)

Karaoke Fun!

2009-01-12T13:31:00.001+08:00

This is a scene from the 6th episode of "On Air". Check out the crazy girls, and the initially stunned guys. Haha...